I have been flying as Cabin Crew for over 14 years and love my job but we really do hear the funniest things from our passengers. It never gets boring as you never know what will happen or what you will hear next! We work in challenging conditions and do our best to please but we also have a sense of humour and love to share our stories. Sometimes, I can’t quite believe what I hear and do a ‘double take’ but you do get seasoned to it. At first, I wondered if the passenger was joking with me, but mostly it is for real! I know flying can be stressful and people feel as though things are out of their control - I have even tried to reason that maybe it is a first time flyer. Or they are nervous or drunk or something? But really there is no excuse! Here are just a few true life quotes from my passengers:
#1 ‘Where can I smoke?’ – We may sometimes tell you that the wing is available… It is the most common question!
#2 ‘Can I open a window?’ – That would be a definite no, Sir.
#3 ‘Where is the Eiffel Tower?’ – On a flight from Paris to London, flying over the City of London. It is back in Paris where we left it unfortunately.
#4 I ask ‘Sir, would you like chicken or beef?’ The passenger asks me ‘Can I have the lamb?’ - Unfortunately, we don’t have a restaurant back there… not today anyway!
#5 ‘Will you be going back home tonight?’ – After a 14 hour flight London to Singapore. (Of course, I can do that 30 hour plus shift.)
#6 I am asking a passenger what he would like to drink and he is wearing headphones. He turns to his wife and asks ‘What is she saying?’ – Sir, take the headphones off, you might be able to hear me and your wife?
#7 ‘Would you like some breakfast, Madam?’ (Reply from the passenger) – ‘No, just get me some hot buttered toast…’ Where from, Mam? Just asking…
#8 I am standing with just one coffee pot and ask ‘Would you like coffee, Madam?’ She hands me her cup to fill and says ‘No, tea please.’ - Hold on, let me find my magic teapot that turns coffee in to tea…
#9 A passenger complains he doesn’t have a Greek newspaper – on a London-Paris flight. - Just wait, let me get my parachute…maybe I can call at a newsagents for you.
#10 With a tea and coffee service we hand out these little UHT (Ultra High Treatment) milk jiggers. One passenger asks me ‘What is this?’ and I explain that it is long life milk. He responds to me by asking ‘But what kind of animal is a UHT?’ - Sorry, my mistake.
I have also explained to a passenger that if he needed another coffee, just to press the call bell. He did and was holding his cup underneath it to collect his coffee! Still these things will always happen and makes the day brighter. I really don’t mind if you mistakenly packed your brain in the hold, that’s ok or maybe it’s the jetlag who knows? You have your in-flight entertainment and I have mine!