You’ve been partying in Cambodia with thirty cross-dressing monkeys for the past few weeks and your boss has been calling you repeatedly since last Thursday because you up and left without notifying anyone. As you give all your new friends a banana and wave goodbye you realize that there is a slight possibility that you might have lost your job. That boss of yours and his hatred for cross-dressing monkeys will surely get you sacked (is that even possible though? I mean monkeys don’t really wear anything anyhow, how would they dress let alone cross-dress?) Before you get ready to go in and have a talk with the boss make sure you avoid a few of these things.
Don’t take pictures of you and your monkey friends to show your boss
As we’ve already stated he has bias towards cross-dressing monkeys, don’t push your luck.
Keep your cool, you don’t have a job anyway
What’s done is done and the only thing that can happen is that you make things worse. Here’s a scenario for you to ponder: you lose it, not normal lose it, I’m talking about going primal on your boss (you have been hanging out with monkeys for the past few weeks and that’s the only type of conflict management you’re used to) you jump on his desk and bite him. Not only will you probably go to jail but you’ll also lose your bosses much needed reference.
Keep your opinion of your co-workers to yourself
The world is really small and as a one-trick pony you’ll probably cross professional paths with the people that you used to work with. Everyone has people at work that they might hold a certain grunge for, but you shouldn’t under any circumstances tell them. The way you mess up you’ll probably end up working for one eventually.
Don’t damage any property
I know that you want to put your hand through the drywall behind your desk right now, break a window or put areally thick piece paper in the printer but breath and try to calm down. All those things will get you arrested!
When an interviewer asks you why you left your other job don’t be forth-coming
It’s a good possibility that your new boss will be racist towards cross-dressing monkeys also so do not tell him/her why you were let go. Instead, tell them that you like the job so much that you had to leave because it was turning into obsession. There isn’t a boss in the world that won’t appreciate a hard worker!
When in doubt of what to do stop, drop and roll
If you’re afraid that your behavior is going to a place that would be socially inappropriate, stop everything, drop to the ground and roll around back and forth until the person leaves. It works when you’re on real fire why not use it to put out a social fire?
In closing, I would recommend that you use your common sense but unfortunately you are not evolved enough to have any. Don’t feel bad though as none of your species does. Now that I think of it, ultimately it was your boss’s fault for hiring a great ape; you make a bang-up orangutan but a horrible accounts received officer.
Have you ever worked with a primate or even a marsupial? Then let us know about your experience in the comment section below.